Have you ever felt like you are the prodigal son’s sibling? Well, I am beginning to feel that way. I can hear the older brother angrily complaining to the Father that he had never left His side and had done everything he knew he was to do. He was unhappy because he felt the Father had not done anything special for him but so loved the son that had screwed up. He was envious of the momentary connection and celebration that the Father had had with the son whom he thought was dead. I imagine he was a little jealous of that expression or reminder of the Father’s love and provision for the brother who screwed up.
It is not that I’ve screwed up and I am not separated from the Father, nor have I felt obligated to do all the right things to please Him in our relationship, but rather I find myself struggling with envying those who’ve walked away from Him and turned to other things to find comfort and relief from circumstances that seem unchanging and then have testimony of His faithfulness, deliverance and provision after finding there way back to Him. It makes me wish I were out chasing after things that would make my longstanding, seemingly hopeless circumstances simply disappear, so that I too can have a powerful testimony of His faithfulness and celebration of my return to Him. I long to see His love in action rather then knowing it and believing it without seeing its undeniable evidence in my life never mind others being able to see it as well.
I feel like the prodigal’s sibling in choosing to remain faithful to the Father because I love Him, but I sure desire His embrace and affection. I long for Him to show me how much He loves me. I know He does and I know He is faithful but I look forward to the moment when I can talk of how He showed me in these seemingly unchanging circumstances that He loves me by making things better.
Have you ever been a little envious when others seem like they are being embraced by the Father when you long for His touch?